Thursday, January 20, 2011

Paper towels, my dad and my destiny

I married my dad. Well, okay... not literally, but almost.

Growing up, there was this strange phenomena that occurred every single morning. I never actually witnessed the event, but I can personally attest to its occurrence. Every morning, after my dad was done...doing whatever he did... in the kitchen, there was a crumpled up paper towel on the counter. Right smack in the middle of the counter. On this paper towel was a smear of avocado, just a smear. Now, our kitchen was like any other kitchen in that it had a garbage can in it. Right out in the open! In plain view! Not mysterious in its location. Yet, the actual throwing away of the paper towel alluded the user. I tell you, it was the oddest thing.

Now, being the young intellectual that I was, I quickly caught on that my dad was leaving this little treasure on the counter every morning. Why he was doing this has remained unknown and is one of our families great legends and will be retold for generations to come. *this is said with great drama and a grand sweeping of the arms*

Okay, maybe the part about great legends was the tiniest fabrication.

My mom and I have discussed this paper towel in great depth. Neither of us can figure out why he did this (and still does as far as I know). I suggested she just leave the towels on the counter and perhaps add her own touch of flair to the whole ordeal. Maybe just a touch of lipstick or some dribble of the fiber drink she consumes every morning. *gags* Sadly, my mom does not find these ideas as entertaining as I do.

Back to why I have married my dad. The Mr. does not leave a tenderly smooshed paper towel on the counter. What he DOES do is just as irritating though. I swear, every time he makes any kind of toast, he leaves a huge, crumby mess on the counter. It's like he's gathering his troops of crumbs to form his very own Crumb Army. Really? Is it that hard to sweep the crumbs into his hand and dust them off in the sink? They're just crumbs! Why do we have to save them? It's not like they're priceless jewels! It's not like I can claim they carry the image of a saint or George Clooney and sham people out thousands of dollars on eBay. Come on!

So, there you have it. I did that which I swore I would never do. Dammit, foiled again.


  1. Hahahaha! Pretty funny. I am my father's daughter. He leaves drawers and cabinets open in the kitchen. I do the same, especially in the morning when I'm sleepy. I try hard to close everything, but I am often reminded that I didn't do so when my hubby chuckles to himself and closes the cabinets and drawers.

  2. "eluded the user." alluded is the past tense of allude which means "to make allusion to."

    I know...I know...language and lit dies hard it does...

    Loving the Ringmaster! But wait, can't Mr. make a breadcrumb masterpiece that DOES look like George Clooney...?

  3. Too funny. I to have a Mr. Mine leaves bread crumbs on the counter (which HIGHLY irritates me) and he also leaves the cinnamon and sugar which he puts on the toast on the counter as well. UGH! If only he would clean after himself!


Comments? I love comments! Drinks all around!