Wednesday, August 31, 2011

It's a jungle in here

As you may remember, I'm doggedly trying to finish my college degree. I'm happy to inform you that I am 3 classes away from graduating (Yay!) however, the 3 classes I have left are math, math and math (not yay!). Math has been the enemy my entire life. No bueno. Anyway, my semester started last night and I thought you might be interested to hear about some of my classmates. *grins wickedly*

First we have "The Talker". His natural habitat is the very front row and his innate behavior is to talk to the prof like they are old friends and to also weigh in on anything anyone else has said with his superior knowledge. Awesome.

Next, we have "The Latecomers". The Latecomer needs to make an entrance. What is this "on time" you speak of? We don't need no stinking schedule! They were excused ever so politely from the class ;)

As there will always be in a college class, "The Jock". He rolls in 45 minutes late to class because there was no one to remind him to be there. Lucky for him, he had his coach's business card and handed it over to the instructor with an attitude of entitlement with a splash of little boy holding an excuse from mommy note. Naturally, he was allowed to stay. Midway through the class, he also claimed the role of "The Sleeper".

We are also blessed with "The Joker". The Joker always has some smart-ass thing to say and then looks around to make sure everyone else appreciates his superior wit. This particular species is also prone to say "Fuck" under his breath. Repeatedly. Classic.

These are the main characters but there is a fine mix of minor players. The chick wearing an apron. Look, I get that you just got off work as a "Barista", but really...take the apron off, it's not doing you any favors.There is also the "Hip Mom". Now, make no mistake, this is not the mom who manages to look classy yet fashionable. This is the one that has her hair in pigtails and wears a Minion shirt.

Heaven help me...

I almost forgot...there's the guy with so much swagger, it's a wonder he hasn't had to have a hip replacement to fix all that excessive rotation.

As a whole, I think the class will be good for me. The instructor seems interested in teaching and is convinced that we are all math-minded, whether we realize it or not...because, "Even chickens can count to 13, and they're dumb!"  

Tuesday, August 30, 2011


We took my parents to a theme park awhile ago and I have to tell you...I remembered why I don't travel often with them. My dad rode shotgun while The Mr. drove and my mom sat in the back with the girls and I. Our trip took us through my mom's old stomping ground and I kid you not, she was like the father-in-law from Forget Paris. Do you remember him? No? Let me illuminate...

Everything we drove by, "I remember that!", "This wasn't there before, wow!" "See kids, I drove through there, right there!"

Oh my...

Love her dearly folks, but I learned my lesson.

Monday, August 29, 2011

My big toe

Little Bit informed me this morning that she bit my husband's big toe (through the blankets, thankfully) and it got me to thinking...after I was completely grossed out of course. Life sometimes give you a big ass chomp on your toe and then what? You whine and cry and bitch a little and then you move on because really, who wants to sit around holding their toe all damn day?

Life bit the hell out of my toe.

I won't bore you with the gory details, instead I will share the sunshine that peeked through the clouds. Since being bitten, I have re-discovered that I enjoy spending time at home, cleaning, cooking, organizing. It's funny, I had forgotten that I really enjoy those things, they had just become one more chore in the chaos of everyday life. I have also re-gained time to go to school and finally finish that degree...I'm so close (3 classes!!!). I can return to work in Little Bit's classroom and make a general nuisance of myself with my Jr. Higher. I can have lunch with my girlfriends. I can blog. I can breathe.

Ahh... that's nice.

So, sorry about abandoning you in the recent months. I can't promise I won't do it again but if I do it will be because I am doing something fun, selfish, fulfilling, get the picture.

In the eternal words of Wayne and Garth, "Game on!"