Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Do it for the Children!

So I was thinking today as I was walking into Target, which by the way is my favorite place to shop. Actually, I'm not even going to get into how much money I spend there because that would be a Whole different posting entirely.


I was watching a couple leaving the store with their little boy (perhaps 2 years old) sitting in the cart. I was looking at him and thinking to myself, damn it's effing cold out here and those stupid ass parents don't have a hat on him. I was wishing I had a hat right then. And a jacket. Maybe even my scarf. But, before you call my mother and tattle on me, in my defense, it was an unplanned trip and I WAS wearing a long sleeve shirt.

What's that? Stop babbling and get on with it? Right, got it.

As I was watching this family and thinking these "Mom" thoughts, I was wondering why he did not have a hat. Then as I got closer, I realized that the little man had his hair done in a faux-hawk. A faux-hawk. Then I got to thinking that maybe said parents didn't have a hat on this boy because they didn't want to mess up his hair. Now, as much as I would like to have given them the benefit of the doubt, I come into contact with far too many stupid parents each and every day and know better.

Then, my twisted mind started to think of all the stupid things parents do. I, of course would never do any of these stupid things. *wink wink*
  • Faux-hawks
  • Dressing the parents and the children in disturbingly matched clothes. Then taking pictures.
  • Mullets
  • Parents going to their kids' school in their pajamas. Or bathrobe. Or bra-less. Or in slippers.
  • Going out in public with their kids in either a diaper or in their pajamas. (a note on pajamas. I don't care how cute you think you or your kid is, neither of you will ever be cute enough to parade around in your jammies)
  • Moms who dress their girls up like hookers. Really. This is wrong, don't do it
  • "Future Clamper" shirts. I can't even talk about this one.
There are probably far more tasty bits from the Stupidity Sampler of life, but frankly, one can only dwell on these things for a short time.


  1. What is a Clamper? Or should I be afraid to ask?

  2. E Clampus Vitus. It's totally a hillbilly thing.

  3. Yes, Weltha, be afraid! I went happily through life not knowing what a Clamper was until my mid twenties. I had a Clamper for a neighbor.


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