Monday, January 30, 2012

It's elementary, my dear Watson

If our teens are tomorrow's adults, we are in for a shitstorm. I was driving home from dropping the kids off at school and two cars in front of me was a truck pulling a horse trailer. As we approached an intersection, a high school boy and his little brother stepped into the street. To his credit, they were in a crosswalk but to his discredit, he stepped out from behind a car parked on the street. AND he didn't bother to wait to make sure the driver of the truck had seen him. The guy in the truck wasn't going fast, but he didn't have time to stop due to his HORSE TRAILER and had to swerve completely off the road to avoid hitting this idiot. Rather than being chagrined or scared that he had almost caused an accident that would have surely injured or even killed him (or his brother), this Douche Bag turned and started yelling at the guy in the truck.

What a fucktard.

This is one my of pet peeves. If you are going to cross the road, LOOK to make sure there are no cars approaching! It's not fucking rocket science! Have we learned nothing from the chicken who crossed the road??

My kids could cross better at 5 years old than this dumbass.

Heaven help us...

Friday, January 27, 2012


I'm not even really sure what to say about this. My gut instinct is to say that this may well be the worst mom on the face of the earth. As in mykidwonteatanythingbutthiscrapandihavecreatedamonsterbecauseigiveintohereverytime kind of absolute stupidity. But then I thought, maybe the girl has some kind of psychological aversion to textures or smells.

But really...

Check it out, tell me what you think.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012


I went into the garage to do laundry the other day. Yes, you read that right..."The Garage" because in their infinite wisdom, the contractors that built our house didn't see fit to include a laundry room inside the house. Either that or they did not consult a woman when pondering their design. So, I walked out into the 25° icebox and began the time honored tradition of filling the washing machine with other people's dirty clothes. All of a sudden, I heard a rustling sound behind me. I turned and there, running from the bag of cat food was a R.O.U.S.

What is a R.O.U.S., you say? Let me sum up...

See? This is what was in my garage! Okay, maybe not THIS big, but big all the same. I'm not ashamed to admit that I ran away screaming, like a little girl. I immediately shouted to The Mr., "R.O.U.S., in the garage!" What do you think he did? Nothing. He remained on the couch and asked, "Are you sure?"

Well, of course I was sure! It almost leaped at me. It nearly bit me.

Alright, maybe not the leaping and biting part, but it was there! I finally convinced him that we needed to put a trap out. A BIG trap, not some little sissy trap for little mouseys. We needed to get out the big guns. Or an elephant gun. Last night he brought home a trap and set it for the R.O.U.S. I'll keep you informed as to our epic rat hunt.

On a side note, Little Bit (who turns 10 this coming Sunday), announced this morning that she thinks we should call the government R.O.U.S.', because, "They take all our money." I'm not sure how rodents and money connect in her little pea brain, but connect they do and I have to say, I think the term is pretty fitting.

Especially today...End Piracy, Not Liberty

Monday, January 16, 2012

Social idiots

I went to Costco the other day and was reminded that people are not only rude but sometimes just downright ignorant. Now, this is not news to me and I'm sure it's not news to you but don't you find that there are times when this behavior just completely takes you by surprise?? No? Hmm, I guess it's just me.


Some things I pondered that day:

I am guilty of leaving my shopping cart in the parking lot from time to time. However, when I leave it in the parking lot, I always anchor it in one of those little "green spots", you know...with a tree or a bush. My trip to Costco treated me to a man who was unloading his HUGE cart. Not one of those regular carts, but one of those flatbed things. As I watched, he unloaded his large purchases and then very casually turned his flatbed around and parked it behind the car parked next to him. I momentarily hoped that this was just a resting place for the flatbed on its way to the ever amazing Cart Corral. How silly of me. This man proceeded to hop right on up into his Cadillac Escalade and drive away. Loser.

Are we just that lazy and unthinking as a society that we have no qualms about thumbing our noses at the people around us? Really?? The guy wasn't old or herding large quantities of kids or in a wheelchair or missing any limbs. Would it have KILLED him to walk over 2 parking rows and stow his flatbed? What an idiot.

The second offense involved a man walking into Costco ahead of me.

Let's pause for a moment here.. Have you noticed that both of these offenders were men? This is not to say that men have cornered the market on behaving like asses but I have to say, they were batting 2-0 that day.

Moving on. This man was filthy dirty. Not dirty in a homeless man kind of way or even in a "I was working in the basement of my house and sadly, the place is filthy dirty but I'm trying to rectify that" kind of way. He was just dirty. A dirty white(ish) shirt, dirty jeans and dirty shoes. Now, if I had been across the way at Lowe's, I would have been able to chalk it up to yard work dirt. But this was Costco. Costco isn't the Land of the Working Man! Put on some clean clothes, man!!

I had to go home and have cheesecake in order to recover from this social trauma.