Saturday, June 18, 2011

Thoughts on shaving

Day 10 (of 30ish)

Just one more reason having kids is fully awesome!

Little Bit: Mom, why do people shave their legs?
Me: Maybe to make them look and feel nice.
Little Bit: But people don't shave their arms.
Me: Nope.
Little Bit: But they shave their armpits. I wonder why?
Me: Because people don't want to be hairy monkeys.
Little Bit: I guess so.

*a very long pause*

Little Bit: People don't shave their butts either.
Me: Uh.....
Little Bit: I guess most people don't need to shave their butts because their butts are naked.
Me: That would sure explain it.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

In which I ponder great things

Day 9 (of 30ish)

What's my word?

I was watching Eat, Pray, Love the other day. Can I just say that I LOVE Julia Roberts? Anyway, in one of the scenes, she was talking with friends and they were talking about Rome. One of the friends said that the word for Rome was SEX and New York was ACHIEVE and so on. Then Julia's character, Elizabeth is asked, "What's your word?" Her response..."Now that, I definitely could not answer."

I know how she felt.

What's my word?

Is it Mom? Or Wife? Or daughter or sister? Is it friend or student or confidante?

These all describe what I am, but not WHO I am. I have often wondered who I really am and what my purpose is. Sure, I'm a wife and a mom and I LOVE every single day. But in the grand scheme of things, who am I? What am I good at, what's my talent?

Sometimes, when I get caught up in this way of thinking, I have to stop and tell myself that what I do every day is important even if it doesn't feel like it. I know, I know...I'm important, I'm worth something, blah, blah, blah. I know I'm not completely useless.

But haven't you ever wondered where your true talent lies? Or are you one of those lucky few that has found your great love and gets to live it every day?


Maybe I should just pick one out of a hat...





Maybe one of these days, I will wake up and realize what I'm meant to be doing. Or maybe I will happen upon an event that will re-shape my life. Or maybe I won't and I will be left wondering...What's my word?

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

The Urinator

Day 8 (of 30ish)

Things I will pretend to have never seen:

While waiting for a train...the car in front of me was a mini-van. While waiting for the train to pass by, I observed the sliding door of the van open. A young boy stepped up to the threshold of the car and with all the grace of an Olympic Urinator, sent an arcing stream of urine high up in the air. You read it here first, folks.

Monday, June 6, 2011

To be or not to be

As much as I LOVE Summer vacation, there are moments where I find myself terribly bored. This is not to say that there isn't a million things I should or even could be doing...I just don't want to. So, for your reading pleasure, may I present my "I should be doing this, but instead I'm doing that" list.

Things I should be doing:

Laundry - because somehow the laundry fairy always misses my house.
Dishes - I think the dish fairy is in cahoots with the laundry fairy.
Cleaning the bathrooms - I'm not even going to comment on this one.
Vacuuming - I hate doing this. I'm campaigning hard to replace the carpet with a hardwood floor.
Reading a book - Don't get me wrong, I LOVE reading. The problem here is that I'm on the couch and my book is not and until it learns to grow legs and walk to me, we have a problem.
Balancing my checkbook - Now, before you think I'm on top of this, think again. My idea of balancing the checkbook is writing down what I've spent, calling the bank and crossing my fingers when the current balance is announced.
Taking a walk with the girls - I do actually plan to do this. Later.
Going to the Library for more books - See? I love me some books.
Sweeping and mopping - I don't actually mind this because I love the smell of Pine-Sol :)

Things I am doing:

Playing Poppit on

See my problem?

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Bleach, Ice Cream and other yummy things

Day 7 (of 30ish)

I feel the need for a Top Ten.

Like Letterman...but better.

The Ringmaster's Top 10 (in no particular order because my brain is already starting to hurt)

Books - I love books. Books are like tiny, little movies in my head. They make me happy!

Ice Cream - Let's face it, ice cream embodies all that is amazing in this world.

Disneyland - Normally, I hate crowds and don't have the patience to wait in line at the grocery store, but somehow, as soon as I walk in the gates at Disneyland nothing bothers me. It's my happy place.

Flip Flops - I would wear flippys all day, every day!

Coffee - Do I really need to expand on that? Coffee is the elixir of life and should be celebrated daily!

Bleach - My goal when I'm cleaning is to make the house smell like the community pool. Only better.

Just about anything by artist Jack Vettriano - In my opinion, he is one of the most talented artists I have ever seen.

The word Fuck - Sorry for you sensitive folks but there a more versatile word out there? Fucktard, Fuck me! Get the Fuck out! UnFuckingBelieveable! See what I mean?

Flowers - I like almost any kind of flower. Smell-good ones, funky ones, classy ones.

Shoe Store Smell - C'mon, don't tell me that you don't like that wonderful smell of new shoes? I'm telling you, if Scentsy carried Shoe Store, Bleach and New Tire I would stockpile like nobody's business!

There you have it.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Blog Madness (not to be confused with Space Madness)

Day 6 (of 30ish)

Why Do I Blog, You Ask?

So, I was talking to my dear friend Weltha Jane and we were talking about blogs. It got me thinking...what the hell am I doing here? Really and truly, there is absolutely nothing productive or world-changing about it. Although, this would not be the case if people would acknowledge that I am indeed the best person to rule the world. I'll keep you posted on that. *said with GREAT snarkiness* Anyway. It doesn't change anyone's minds or impact our crappy economy. However, it does soothe my soul and allow me the opportunity to vent my spleen every now and then.

For instance...

My blog allows me to tell you how very, very, very, very angry I am that my girls were not included in the photo collage at my father-in-law's memorial. Never mind that they spent lots of time with him and it was obvious to a blind and deaf person that they adored each other. Never mind that my mother-in-law specifically asked me for pictures and then didn't include them. Did I mention that I am furious?

My blog also allows me to share the never-ending escapades of my family. Things like Little Bit doing the Jumping Spider down the hallway. Eh? What's that? You don't know what the Jumping Spider is? May I present for your viewing pleasure, The Jumping Spider. Good times. I should have got it on video and put it on YouTube. Sadly, I was far too busy falling out of my chair laughing. Go figure.

So, Intrepid Readers...I blog because I wanna. I blog because it makes me happy. I blog because I think we need to share little tiny pieces of ourselves sometimes.

I blog. I'm a Blogger.

P.S. If you got the title's reference to Ren and Stimpy's Space Madness...46,000 points for you