Monday, October 10, 2011

Limp is never a good thing...

You know what I don't get? The Limp Handshake. You know what I'm talking about. When you reach out to shake someones hand and you get...fingertips. What, are you too delicate to use your whole hand? Do you possess superhuman strength and you can't trust yourself to not rip my arm off my body and that's why I only get the fingertips? Are you hiding a hand buzzer and waiting to zap someone else and don't want to give yourself away? Do you have "palm hair" and am embarrassed by it?

Wait, that was a ridiculous question because if I had palm hair, I would definitely be embarrassed and would attempt to hide it all cost. I withdraw the question.

Or is it me?

It's me, isn't it??

You find me repulsive, don't you? I knew it. Seriously, I shower every day, I wash my hands after going to the bathroom. I'm not dirty, I swear.

What's that? It's not me, it's you? Sure. Sure.

Either way, I find your limp handshake both superficial and weird. Personally, I think that if all you are offering in return for my proffered hand is the equivalent of a dead fish you A)Need a warning sign and B)Should have to explain yourself after each handshake fail.


  1. This seriously bothers me too. My husband and I talk about this when it happens. They gave me the limp handshake. Something isn't right with them. What IS up with that?

  2. My defense is to grab their hand and give it a whole-hearted shake. Then I hold on just a second too long. The looks on their faces are priceless! Bah ha ha ha ha!


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