Friday, October 7, 2011

In which I share my talent

I am soo talented. Seriously, my talent is unrivaled. Observe...

I never fail to choose the one bathroom stall in the ENTIRE bathroom that has just been used to make an incredibly malodorous deposit. True story.

I am also quite adept at picking the shopping cart that has 3 squeaky/rusted/misaligned/missing wheels. Or, I consistently find every single microscopic piece of debris in the store and proceed to roll over it, rendering my one good wheel completely immobile.

When I do finally make it to the check out line, I attempt to employ my keen wit and wisdom in choosing which line is best for me. All I can say is this - It's a good thing I didn't have many birth control options back in the day because if I chose birth control like I choose check out lines, I would not only ALWAYS be waiting in the longest line ever, I would be doing so with a shitload of kids.

I have a knack for standing/walking/sitting/being breathed upon by the one person in a 15 mile radius that has chosen to not shower, brush their teeth or apply deodorant.


See? Told you. Talent...I have it.

2 comments:

  1. Are you sure you didn't just read my mind!?

    ReplyDelete
  2. It must be the whole "great minds think alike..."

    ReplyDelete

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