Friday, October 7, 2011

In which I share my talent

I am soo talented. Seriously, my talent is unrivaled. Observe...

I never fail to choose the one bathroom stall in the ENTIRE bathroom that has just been used to make an incredibly malodorous deposit. True story.

I am also quite adept at picking the shopping cart that has 3 squeaky/rusted/misaligned/missing wheels. Or, I consistently find every single microscopic piece of debris in the store and proceed to roll over it, rendering my one good wheel completely immobile.

When I do finally make it to the check out line, I attempt to employ my keen wit and wisdom in choosing which line is best for me. All I can say is this - It's a good thing I didn't have many birth control options back in the day because if I chose birth control like I choose check out lines, I would not only ALWAYS be waiting in the longest line ever, I would be doing so with a shitload of kids.

I have a knack for standing/walking/sitting/being breathed upon by the one person in a 15 mile radius that has chosen to not shower, brush their teeth or apply deodorant.

See? Told you. Talent...I have it.


  1. Are you sure you didn't just read my mind!?

  2. It must be the whole "great minds think alike..."


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