S-E-X

Let's talk about sex, shall we?

This is not about sex as in, "oh, it's so fabulous, but let's not get into details". This is some serious shit folks.

I've been married 15 years this month (in 6 days actually) and I have a serious complaint about sex. Why is it that men and women don't want it at the same time? Really? God couldn't come up with a better plan for sex and the longevity of relationships? Okay, I can agree that when we were teenagers, my husband (well, then boyfriend) and I were on the exact same wave-length about sex. It was completely forbidden so naturally, it was the thing we thought about all the time. All. The. Time. We crafted ingenious ways to be in a secluded place in order to have it. We snuck minutes here and there and amped ourselves up for that moment when we could commandeer a corner or closet or truck bed or (I'm almost ashamed to admit) a friend's bedroom. Life was good.

Fast forward a few years. We have a new baby and my time is totally consumed with her. I'm nursing and staying at home full time and as far as I'm concerned the whole world revolves around her (mostly because I don't know any better). The Mr. can't understand why I don't show any interest in him and I can't understand why he can't get that I can't turn my "faucets" from the 24-hour Dairy Queen to a playground in a matter of minutes.

So, we were at an impasse.

Fortunately, I made new friends, realized that the sun did not rise and set with Zippy and started to feel better about myself.

Fast forward a few more years. We have 2 great girls, a successful business. I go to school and work part-time at a job that I LOVE and life is good.

And then there is sex.

Really?

I'm pretty sure it's God's little joke that I want it when he doesn't and vice versa. Or one of us is wiped from the day. Or one of us is sick or the kids are sick.

I'm pretty sure that I read somewhere that men reach their sexual peak at around 18 and women reach theirs at around 35. Are you kidding? This is the dumbest thing I have ever heard and I work with junior highers, so I hear some DUMB shit.

Why can't men and women be on the same schedule? Is this really too much to ask? Is the lack of synchronicity perhaps because if we thought unblinkingly about sex at the same times of our lives that little to nothing would be done in our daily lives? Or is is because God wants us to work extra hard at making our marriages work?

Whatever the reason, I think the whole thing stinks.