- If a woman is enjoying a glass of wine, she is automatically "off limits" to children, spouses, debt-collectors and salesmen. No exceptions. In the event of an emergency, dial 911 and inform the operator of this rule. (Marisa is in charge here)
- There shall be an immediate ban on ALL sales calls. Forever.
- If you can't behave like a sensitive, courteous human being, you are not allowed into the movie theater. Furthermore, there shall be absolutely no children allowed in a movie that has a rating greater than "G". (Weltha is in charge here)
- There shall be roving squads of "Stupid Patrol". If you are found to be behaving in a way that is deemed stupid, you will be subject to heavy fines and the possible removal of whatever appendage that was being misused at the time.
- Fitting room mirrors and lighting will be subject to rigid standards. Standards set forth by normal size women.
- All financial institutions shall be re-structured to actually do what they were meant to do...hang on to your $ until you need it, not attempt to screw you six ways from Sunday. And, they will all be run by women because we all know that women are more logical and organized than our counterparts.
- Every time a women gives birth, she shall be offered (for no additional cost) a nip and tuck. And lipo. and a boob lift.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
A Queen's addendum
When I assume control over the world, the following shall join my initial set of rules: