Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Dark days

I miss the days when the biggest decision I had to make was what to wear or what to make for dinner. I have come to the profound realization over the past week and a half that the normal, every day "problems" that we bitch about and complain to our girlfriends over a glass of wine about are simply blessings in disguise. I would love to complain to Tracy that The Mr stayed out late twice this week to play pool with his boyfriends. I would love to whine and cry that I spend what seems like every waking moment in my car, driving the girls to school or dance or youth group. Yeah. That would be super terrific.

Life at home has taken some drastic turns recently and those turns have had some resounding ripples that I am trying to deal with as best as I know how. I'm sure that when I look back on these dark days, I will say that it wasn't as bad as it seemed. I hope I do, anyway.

In the midst of this madness, I'm taking another math class. We are 4 weeks in and I was lost 2 weeks ago. I just don't care. It's the last class before I graduate (although technically, I need 2 more math classes if I want anything better than an AA) and I don't care. Math has absolutely nothing to do with my major and I can't fathom why I need so much math to continue. And I'll tell you another thing. I'm 36 years old and guess what? I've lived this whole time and have never experienced a single moment where I thought to myself, "Wow, I'm super glad I took so much math and I sure could use even higher math right this very second." Whoever tells you that you use anything above basic pre-algebra in real life, unless math is actually integral to your career choice, is high on crack.

And when it comes right down to it, I don't even really have a great desire to use the fucking degree I'm working so hard to get. Isn't that ironic.

Oh, and I broke up with Facebook and surprisingly enough, I don't miss it. Not even a little bit. I don't miss the stupidity or the drama or the blatant screams for attention. I might let FB woo me again in the future but in the meantime, it can go fuck itself too.

So, readers, think happy thoughts for me.

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